I don’t want to dwell for too long on this subject, simply out of respect for Vicey. Since she originally accepted my transition, or at least to stay with me until it was finished, I had thought that our couple may have survived after all.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. There are some very important things that we strongly disagree on, and at one point I simply got fed up of them and of some part of Vicey’s attitude… But if it had been only that, even, it may have turned out alright for us.
But, something else happened when I started having my, erm, “regular” therapy (meaning, not with a gender therapist): I realized that it was alright to be myself. It is, of course, one of the most important parts of any transition, but in my case it also means that I accepted the fact that I’m a geek, that I don’t want to “fit the mold” or “follow the script” of the perfect nuclear family with the house, 2 cars, a stupid dog and 2.1 kids. It simply isn’t me, and I realize that I lost myself in that act. So, we ended the relationship (to be honest, the decision was mostly mine). We are still living in the same house, I took the extra room that would have been for a second child, and we continue our routine, mostly. The only notable exception is that we’re both dating so we have one day per week and one day in the weekend to go out while the other stays with our daughter. It’s a good arrangement, but of course one that will only last as long as we have the house – after that, we’ll see.
So that means I have new problems now – actually finding dates. I realized that my, err, pardon the terminology, “pool of potential suitors” is of course greatly reduced especially during my transition. After surgery I’ll be able to simply present myself as being a lesbian but for the time being, the only people I can probably date (and beyond) are bisexual women that are open-minded enough to be with someone like me. Not a small feat!